Tag: accomplishments

Hurry Up and Stop

~ boydwilsonpat ~ 2 Comments

I live in a rush-rush world. Everything feels like hurry up and do this or go there, but sometimes I have to make myself stop. While outside sources place demands on my life, I have to place demands on my own life as well for self-care, and nurturing relationships, and maintaining sanity. Because of my need for inner peace and wholeness I have to give up hurrying and simply stop the rush-rush life.

It is no wonder people call life a “rat race.” Like the rat running through a maze to get the cheese we have become accomplishment addicts. Some of us are chasing power and prestige while others are chasing prosperity and possessions. None of these pursuits are wrong until they become all consuming, so much so that our health and well-being is failing and our relationships are inconsequential. I saw some very shocking statistics the other day. It said only 2.7% of American adults have healthy lifestyles (Mayo Clinic Proceedings) meaning many of us struggle with chronic illnesses that could be prevented. Wow! Just 2.7%, the rest of us are too busy for self-care and healthy choices. (Check out the reports of the USDA, CDC, and the Bloomberg Healthiest Country Index.) Likewise, the number of divorces has increased annually (Modern Family Law, Purdue University) and our teens and young adults are dying by suicide at an alarming rate. (Jed Foundation, CDC, Yale School of Medicine). In other words, families are in crisis and people are self-destructing. Is this really the benefit of the Pursuit of Happiness? Are the “rat race” outcomes worth dying for?

Even if you don’t believe the statistics try taking a survey of your friends and family, your coworkers and neighbors, your classmates and associates. How many of them are dealing with chronic diseases like diabetes, high blood pressure, obesity, and cardiopulmonary issues? How many of them have ulcers and migraines? How many of them have problems in their marriage or have been married more than two times? How many of them have “wayward” children, troubled teenagers or babies in daycare eight to eleven hours a day? What are the mental health issues among your inner circle? Don’t forget to count yourself in the survey. Chasing the dream without balance is costly in a variety of ways. The rats want to live long enough to enjoy the cheese, right? That’s why it’s past time to hurry up and stop.

I have been struggling with insomnia for about a month. Everyone keeps asking me what am I worried or anxious about. My doctor suggest upgrading my antidepressants. My nutritionist suggested giving up caffeine and chocolate. Other well meaning friends suggested chamomile, melatonin, warm milk, a cruise, and a spiritual retreat. All these helpful ideas required some soul searching on my part. Was I stressing or worrying over something consciously or unconsciously? Was I depressed beyond my usual levels and struggles with depression? Was this the source of my inability to sleep? Had I increased my intake of caffeine or chocolate over the past couple of months, if so was that related to anxiety? I finally came to the conclusion that it was none of those things. What I needed was time for myself and to myself. This is not a new concept for me, I just have to remind myself from time to time. I needed quality time away from all the outside sources that were plaguing me to do, to go, and to be on call and in action 24/7. I needed to stop trying to be all things to all people and become my own self-advocate to rest, relax, and recreate. I love the Merriam-Webster Dictionary definition of recreate. It says, “to give new life or freshness, to refresh.” That’s exactly what I needed – to refresh my soul.

For those of you who follow me on social media you’ve seen my bird drawings. Drawing brings me inner joy and peace, mostly because I’m not thinking about anything else. I can’t multitask and draw. I can’t concentrate on anything except the shading, the lines, the colors, and bringing the bird to life. For me, self-care is not just getting a manicures or pedicures or a message. Don’t get me wrong, I love all of those but they are not enough. That’s just outside care like paint on a broke down car. Self-care starts on the inside. It is nurturing my mind with the sacred word or a good book, It’s using my creative skills to crochet a gift for a friend or family member. It’s spending time with my husband listening to a nice jazz combo. It’s going out to dinner with my mom and discovering new restaurants outside of our community. It’s sitting or walking on the bank of a river or lake feeling the elements on my skin and enjoying the Creator’s tapestry. It’s snapping pictures of wildlife and flowers. (View my gallery.) It’s bird watching, playing with children, spending time with my grand children and the people I love. It’s praying while I gaze into the morning sky or while listening to the night sounds. These things nurture my soul and fuel my ability to do the things I do in the marketplace and in the community. These things help me to work from a place of fullness rather than laboring from a place of emptiness. These things enrich my life so that my contentment and joy does not rest solely on what I am able to accomplish in a day or a week or a year. These things stabilize my health, my relationships, and my spiritual wellbeing. These things give me a refresh after the outside sources have tried to suck the life out of me. All I have to do is hurry up and stop the striving, and the multitasking, and the plethora of communication through technology, and the non-stop priorities of outside sources until I can achieve balance with my own priorities.

We have the ability to change our expectations of ourselves and at the same time change the expectation of others. So much of what we do is because we have allowed ourselves and others to think overworked, overstimulated,, and over committed is the norm. Just as we learned to believe these things about ourselves, we (and they) can learn to believe something different, They can learn that we are talented but our time for work is limited. They can learn that we have fortitude and tenacity but we also have personal priorities. They can learn that our start time also has a stop time when we minister the word “no” with firmness and care. They can even learn to hurry up and stop themselves.

Tell me what you think about all this? I’d love to hear from you.

PEACE AND RESTORATION

“We’re not just designed just to work all day and run a rat race. We’re designed to be in community, to volunteer, to vote, to raise our kids. And I think the more inputs and investments we can give in people to do those things, the better off we are as a community.” – Michael Tubbs

My drawing of a Baltimore Oriole

World Building

~ boydwilsonpat ~ Leave a comment

In an author’s life world building is about the back story, setting, and atmosphere where the characters come to life. We create a world out of pure fantasy or by capturing an actual historical place. World building has its place in every genre. In some cases, the world of a story has a life of its own; this is particularly evident in Sci-fi and Gothic stories. Thinking about world building is something I do all the time, but not just for writing. I believe many of us do think about world building and also dream about it, even if we don’t do anything about it. We all want something out of our world that will bring satisfaction, achievement, and accomplishment. It’s called the “Pursuit of Happiness.”

From my teens through my college years, I dreamed of the world I wanted to live in. It included a small farmhouse, a few horses, a couple of dogs, and about ten children. I remember writing the names of those ten kids in my journal – six girls and four boys. The farm would encompass about three or four acres so I could have orchards and a very large vegetable garden. The whole thing would be fenced in by a white latticed fence and my children and animals could run freely all across the property. The house would sit right in the middle of those acres giving me privacy from my neighbors and road traffic. Of course, I would be a famous author and travel to the big city when needed. I truly believed this dream would come true if I kept the vision in my heart and mind (as well as my journal). I still think about that world today and part of it still appeals to me (minus the ten kids. lol) Needless to say it never happened. Why? Because I never put feet to it. I didn’t pursue any of it; I just dreamed and hoped for it.

Our world is a lot like that today. We dream and hope for a better world, a better environment, and a better life but we really don’t pursue it. We talk about it. We complain about it. We even throw up our hands in defeated doubt about it, but we rarely do anything about it. We seem to have forgotten that our world exists on every level because somebody put action to their hopes and dreams. Every community, every building, every machine, and yes, every riot, war, and charitable organization had a world builder behind it. Often times it starts with something small perhaps staking a claim on a small parcel of land or trying to make a laborious task easier and safer. Or maybe it started with a plan to get from point A to point B just a little faster. Real world builders are motivated by creating change and impacting the lives of others (including their own).

On a small scale, many of us are world builders. We try to make our lives successful according to cultural standards. We buy certain homes, and pursue certain careers or jobs, and join certain organizations all with the hope of a better or good life. We network and participate on social media platforms in order to project our arrival and aspirations for a better existence in our world. We choose our associates and life partners to support the image of this good life. These pursuits require a daily grind to keep up our fabricated world. Unfortunately, there are flaws and cracks in this system of world building with an ever-changing social and political culture. Too often, this world is not truly the world we hoped it would be.

For me, world building starts at home. While it’s not the farmhouse I once dreamed of, it is my sanctuary. I set out to have a peaceful and comfortable home. I wanted everyone who entered our domain to feel that it was a place of welcome and peace. I wanted every room to feel like a place where loving living took place. Of course, it had to start with my family first. I wanted my husband, my children, and later my grandchildren, my mom and mother-in-law to look forward to coming and being at home. There was and is no forbidden furniture. There are no off-limit communal spaces, and everyone was permitted to add to the decor of their personal spaces. Everyone had the ability to seclude themselves from others depending on their personal needs after long days at school or work. This meant my house was not spotless (nor will it ever be) and all the rooms are designated for living and enjoying a tranquil family life. This included the family and friends we invited into our space.

What about the broader scale? Things like being a good neighbor; keeping our properties and communities clean; demonstrating common courtesy to all people; investing in the next generation; utilizing our right to vote; and participating in charity opportunities as well as civic organizations. Things like mentoring children and teens and serving the elderly can be a part of world building. We can attribute to positive change in our world by supporting teachers and first responders. We can write our congress and other governmental officials. Most of all we can take action rather than giving up on the possibility of a better world

Our daily lives are not like the world in a novel where one person makes all the decisions and determines all the conditions. We have some options we can utilize. We can be and should be contributors to the building of our world from the smallest local level to the broader levels of society. “It takes a village” is not just about raising children, it’s also about raising the expectations of our culture and community through collaboration, empathy, values, goal setting, safety regulations, effective communications, and civil laws and responsibility. We can be builders of a better world one day at a time, one action at a time. Let’s all put feet to our hopes and dreams of a better tomorrow for the next generation.

“Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.” – John Wesley As always, your comments are welcomed.

May you have the tools to build a world where all the characters may exist in love and unity. Peace and Restoration.

Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

Just One Thing

~ boydwilsonpat ~ Leave a comment

I read this article the other day that said everyone is better off to focus on just one thing. The idea was to figure out what your main thing is and to make it your highest priority. At first, I thought the article was pretty good and offered a good idea especially as a writer. I could put all my focus on writing and make writing my highest priority. As the kids would say, “Not!” As I wrote down some of my writing goals, I realized there was so much more on my life’s agenda than just one thing. I can’t even identify myself as just one thing. Sure, I’m a writer, but I’m also a wife, a mom, a friend, a teacher, a motivational speaker, a grandmother, an in-law, a believer, a daughter, a historian, a student, and a pitch hitter for a number of causes such as Alzheimer’s Disease and care providers. This list is not in the order of priority, but each one is a priority.

“Just One Thing.” I continued to think about this all week. How could anyone prioritize just one thing? What would happen to all the other things? Would this kind of myopic focus make you great at the one thing or cause the one thing to be more excellent than the other things? How would you choose when everything is an important thing? Is there anyone in the world who focuses on just one thing? I’m not sure if I’m just being too literal (or dense) in my thinking or if the author was oversimplifying his thesis. Perhaps an interview is in order.

PBS had a wonderful series on the life and achievements of Walt Disney and his brother, Roy O. Disney. (Truly,, worth seeing, check it out on YouTube) Needless to say, Walt Disney was some type of genius when it came to creativity and seeing his dreams come to fruition. He would never give up on an idea that made his craft better or more excellent regardless of cost or lack of support. Most often it seems others could not comprehend his ideas and inventions. Many thought he was a little crazy and declared Walt’s ideas would never see the light of day, but he stuck with it. As they say, the rest is history. So, was Walt Disney one of those people who prioritized and focused on just one thing or was it just one thing at a time? Afterall, Disney’s feature movies did not evolve into Disney World around the globe in just a few years. As I follow his life, each success led to a new evolution of ideas and inventions. His dreams grew with each accomplishment along with the many people it took to make it all happen.

Walt Disney’s life work seemed to be just one thing, but history would argue as to whether it was his only thing. From the information that is available to us Walt Disney was a devoted father to his daughters, Sharon and Diane. He took them to school and spent the weekends with them. He also allowed them to come to the studios. I bet they got the first of all the Disney toys. (Just a guess on my part.) He was married for forty years to the same wife, Lillian, unusal for Hollywood then and now. He and his brother, Roy, worked closely together and appeared to have a close-knit relationship. Some would say if Roy had not found the financial backing, Walt’s dream would have died as just a set of good ideas. Walt also appeared to have countless friends and relationships with people in the industry and among his employees. No doubt it was a hard balancing act, but somehow, he was able to manage his passion for the one thing with his love for many things.

I guess if I had to choose “just one thing.” I’d choose to be a good person. I don’t want my passions to outweigh my convictions that everyone deserves respect even if I disagree with them. I don’t want my skill sets to become such a matter of pride that I overlook those who are still learning. I don’t want my goals and dreams to so engulf me that I’m no longer available to the people I love and who love me. I don’t want my focus to have the kind of blinders that make me not see others and not be willing to lend a helping hand. I don’t want my priorities to be only about me because I can’t accomplish anything without the support of others. My “just one thing” is to be a good person who lives out her faith in every arena. In the end, I think I’ll accomplish more than “Just One Thing.”

“You can design and create and build the most wonderful place in the world. But it takes people to make the dreams a reality.” “A man should never neglect his family for business.” – Walt Disney

Peace with a broad focus on community,

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