Tag: Elders

What Do You See?

~ boydwilsonpat ~ Leave a comment

It’s weird to me that you don’t realize how much your vision has changed until you get a new pair of glasses. It’s like the room lights up or gets brighter with your new lens. It’s really amazing the difference it can make. Yet, we may put off getting an eye exam until we have to admit we aren’t seeing things as clearly as we should. That was me; I put off eye surgery until it was evident that I couldn’t see clearly enough to drive or read among other things. I had no choice I had to do something about my vision.

Have you ever asked yourself, what am I not seeing? Even when we have 20/20 vision, we may not be seeing things as clearly as we should or understand what we do see. In the early years of my marriage, I remember my husband, who is a fine artist, trying to get me to see the many colors of green in nature. At first, I couldn’t see it. Green was green, but finally I began to notice the distinctions between dark green, light green, yellow green, and so forth. For the first time all the colors in a box of crayons made sense to me. I’m serious, I always asked myself why anyone needed more than eight crayons; a box of twenty-four or more was crazy to me. There were all these varied colors around me, but I was not seeing them. Whenever someone would point out something that I hadn’t seen or noticed I would simply say, “I’m not a visual person, I’m more of an auditory person.” The truth was probably I didn’t want to see it or didn’t care enough to look.

I wonder how many other people are like that. They either don’t see or can’t see the world around them. Perhaps they have never been challenged to really look for the subtle nuisances like my husband challenged me to see the color green. Perhaps they need a corrective lens to truly see the things around them. Or maybe they believe it is crazy to care about such things – that involvement and participation is like a box of sixty-four crayons, too excessive. However, if a positive difference is going to be made in our Beloved Community we must refocus our eyes and understand what’s really happening around us, around our children, and around our world not just globally but communally.

Certain life events have a way of opening our eyes. The Pandemic was one of those events. It not only helped us to see how quickly disease could spread, but it also helped us to see the education of our children in a different light. It showed us the vulnerability of the senior citizens in our community, and it exposed the necessity and sacrifice of what we now call “first responders” and “critical workers.” It also showed us how rural areas were cut off from necessary resources including technology. Our eyes were opened to mental health issues in every age group as well. For sure, the Pandemic made us see some things for the first time. However, many of those things were right before our eyes before the Pandemic and are still quite visible after the Pandemic so we have to ask ourselves “What am I not seeing and why am I not seeing it?”

Grief is raging in the lives of families who have suffered lost whether by natural disasters, accidents, or unexpected violence. Fear has a grip on our children and our senior adults because the definition of safety is ever changing. Scarcity is challenging the security of families whose jobs no longer offer longevity or elevation in pay or position. Every community is experiencing a shortage of peace offices, firefighters, nurses, and teachers. Politics on all sides has become a competition of rhetoric and citizens are becoming disillusioned with the whole process. So, what are we looking at and what will it take for us to see what is really going on? More importantly, how are we going to respond to what we see? And if you are an auditory person like me, how will we respond to what we hear?

I’ve learned from my husband and my art instructor that lighting makes a big difference in how a work is perceived. When the light is right it can highlight the details, but when it’s not right it can cause the observer to miss the details and other components of the art. Perhaps we are waiting for others to shine the light on the needs of our community but waiting has a price that we cannot afford. If we treasure our families and our communities, we must be willing to take a good look around us and activate our citizenry through volunteerism, through civic involvement, through educating others, and through challenging everyone in our sphere of influence to do the same.

What do I see? I see opportunities to do better. I see legacy in our elders. I see possibilities in posterity. I see work for my hands to do. What about you? What do you see? I would love to hear from you.

The color green is associate with nature, growth, and vitality. Figuratively, I hope we will all see more of the color green in our world. Peace and Restoration.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

~ boydwilsonpat ~ Leave a comment

The other day I was listening to an old Aretha Franklin album, and the song “Respect” really stuck in my head for some reason. (There are two versions of the song “Respect,” the original put out by Otis Redding and the revised version by Arthea.) The first thing that came to mind was that ever-popular argument about whether respect is earned or simply given and expected. Yet, I couldn’t help thinking about how much we need a little more respect in our world. Of course, Ms. Franklin was singing about getting a little more respect from her man (by the way he treated her) when he came home, and I guess that where respect should start – at home. Certainly, respect between parents and children, the elders and the young, and yes, husbands and wives are important as it relates to human dignity and regard. That means everyone deserves a little respect.

I wonder do we all agree that using foul language is disrespectful. When adults use curse words when speaking to children, they are destroying any reason for children to show them respect. Actually, they are teaching children how to be disrespectful by example. What happened to the days when adults were careful about what they said in front of children? For that matter, what happened to the days when you couldn’t hear people using foul language on television, radio, or other forms of media? Now, it’s like punctuation at the end of every sentence. Perhaps foul language is so prevalent in our society today that we all think it’s normal and appropriate. (Sad, but probably true.) Unfortunately, foul language isn’t the only problem.

My personal pet peeve is familiarity. My mom is in her nineties, and it bugs me to no end to have some customer service person call her by her first name as if they are friends and contemporaries. Worst yet, they may say “momma” as some form of respecting her apparent age. No “Miss” or “Mrs.” and no request or permission to use her first name. Even white-collar professionals such as doctors and lawyers address their perspective clients by their first names without asking permission. In my world that’s disrespectful. My children (adults now) and my grandchildren have been taught to address people by titles especially if they are older than them. Even familiar family friends are addressed as Mr. or Ms. along with their first names such as Ms. JoAnne or Mr. Robert. This is simply a matter of respect and common courtesy until a person invites you to use their first names. I know, that’s just plain old-fashioned, but how we address one another is important. I never thought I’d live in a world where it’s okay to address someone as the “B” word, or as a whore. This is prevalent with our young people and in today’s music and drama. It’s no longer just familiarity, it’s disrespectful.

Unlike Aretha Franklin’s song, I don’t demand respect from anyone. I simply treat people the way I want to be treated. I use my self-esteem to esteem others. I am mindful of the circumstances and surroundings I find myself in, and considerate of the people sharing that space. As I teach my students, formal situations call for formal language. Casual situations may allow for code switching – informal language – depending on how casual the situation is. (This can be applied to dress as well.) In business situations, I address people by title or last names unless directed by them to do otherwise. I avoid nicknames in public places. I relinquish my seat and my place in line to obvious elders with regard for their age. Even in anger, I try to maintain a level of respect for myself and others. That’s really where it all starts, respect for oneself.

During the spring my middle granddaughter broke off a relationship with a young man. She said the young man called her out of her name and even though he apologized, she was done. When I asked her why. She said I have too much respect for myself to allow someone else to degrade me. Wow! I was so proud of her in that moment. We should be respectful enough that we exude respect both for ourselves and for others. Perhaps this would lead to more respect in our world.

Hears and AI Overview –“Respect, at its core, means treating others with consideration, valuing their opinions and boundaries, and recognizing their intrinsic worth. It’s about acknowledging their individuality and accepting them, even when you disagree with them. Respect also involves showing consideration for their feelings, even when you don’t personally agree with them.”

“ R-E-S-P-E-C-T” I know what it means to me, but what does it mean to you? Do you think we could use just a little bit more from our governmental and educational leaders? Do you think we could use a little more in our “Beloved Community” and among our young people? What about when you get home? Let me hear from you, I’d love to know what you think.

Be safe, be vital, be at peace, show respect, enjoy the music.

Talk From the Family Tree

~ boydwilsonpat ~ Leave a comment

Imagine sitting at the feet of your elders and ancestors hearing their stories and conversations and discovering the origin of your life. Visualize seeing the expressions on their faces and hearing each tale firsthand for the very first time. I was a little girl eavesdropping on grownup conversations, trying to understand the connection of the past to the present. This new book, a collection of short stories and poetry, tries to capture the intimate conversations retold year after year for every generation.

It’s my pleasure to share my latest book with you. Your encouragement and support of my writing is priceless. Thank you for following my blog and the books I’ve authored.

Available on Amazon today.

Breaking Barriers through Commonality

~ boydwilsonpat ~ Leave a comment

Today, I had the privilege of listening to poets and storytellers during the Virtual Reading presentation of Poets & Writers, Inc. in conjunction with the Center for Black Literature at Medgar Evers College. It was entitled: Honoring Our Elders. I tell you all this because these senior men and women were from a variety of backgrounds, and yet, they shared the common bound of creativity and life experiences. (It’s also worth listening to, and can be found on P&W Facebook page.)

These Elders were being honored for their creativity, but they were also honoring us by sharing their world perspective. Their works talked about coming to America as immigrants, watching the hustle of street dancers, missing their families, their pets, connecting with the past, lost loved ones, the current pandemic, and time both now and back when. In this large group of Elders one person was 90, another only 60. Yet, the common thread was their humanity.

How beautiful it was to see and hear people who were not bitter, not ranting, not worried, nor afflicted with the opinions and diatribe of a multimedia entourage. Each person introduced another graciously as a friend. Each person received encouragement, applause, and comments to urge them to continue their craft. Although multiracial, no race was disparaged. Although multi-economical, there was no classism. Although multi-religious, no religious discrimination arose. These were simply creative individuals who discovered a commonality in creative writing and expression, as well as long life in the midst of ever-changing times. They were true Elders exemplifying wisdom by coming together and sharing their heartfelt thoughts and words.

Why can’t this be the way we all relate to one another? Why can’t we focus on our commonalities instead of our differences? We may not all be poets, but we all have family. We may not be able to express ourselves through the written word, but we can speak the common language of love, concern, and hope. The Pandemic magnifies these commonalities more than anything I can think of. People are dying without consideration of race, class, or religion. In the end we all just want health and life for those we love. We all want some form of normalcy to occur again. We all hope for a cure. We all want a plan for safety that works. And yet, we allow politics and social ills to become barriers to our common humanity.

The Elders had stories to tell us about how to overcome these things. They have seen war, plagues, and economic depression. The have lived through lack and plenty. They have found ways to survive in community. We need to hear this. We need to see this. We need to embrace their stories for the sake of posterity. The Elders are thriving in community. How much more should those who are young find a way to thrive with mutual camaraderie as a community?

I was deeply moved by the Elders today. They told their stories, some with pride and others with timidity. Nonetheless, we were captivated by their longevity as well as their tenacity. These authors are leaving a living legacy just by their unity of purpose in their community centers and neighborhood centers. They will also leave a written record of what it means to work together in shared success.

Perhaps we can break the barriers by telling our stories. Perhaps we can find hope and ways to break down barriers by sharing our experiences and getting involved in our communities and neighborhoods If we take the time to listen to others, and especially our Elders, perhaps we can find our common humanity. History and time will show us we are more alike than we are different.

The Elders I listened to today were from the Dr. Edith Rock Elders Writing Workshop, Goddard Riverdale Community Center, Grand Street Settlement, Kew Gardens Community Center, and the Stanley Isaac’s Neighborhood Center.

Thank you Elders, you were a small representation of the hard work of yesterday to create a better tomorrow. I honor you with a new found respect. Thank you for sharing a part of your humanity with me.

Do you have a story in you? Do you know how to write it or how to tell it? Amazon.com