Recently, I went to an active seniors’ interest meeting for people over 55. It wasn’t hard to see that the meeting room was too small for the interested population. People began to line the walls as well as stand in the rear of the room and the hallway. Remember these were people over the age of 55, many in their seventies. Arguments broke out. “Why didn’t the younger people give their seats to the elderly? Why didn’t men give their seats to the women? Why weren’t those with walkers and canes allowed to seat first? Surely, they don’t expect us to stand up for the entire meeting. How are we supposed to hear in the hallway? Why didn’t they get a bigger space? Obviously, they don’t know what they are doing?” For a few minutes I thought I was back in my kindergarten classroom listening to the children bicker over who would be the line leader and who had the toy first. Finally, the moderator gained everyone’s attention. He apologized for the size of the room and moved us to a much larger space across the hall where everyone had a seat with room to spare. Some continued to grumble about how this should have been done in the first place.
I couldn’t help but wonder why people had acted so poorly. It was obvious the planners had not expected such a large turnout. It was also obvious that the building had the ability to accommodate larger groups than ours. Many of us came to the meeting room from the auditorium in the same building. Why couldn’t everyone wait just a few minutes to see how the problem would be addressed? Why didn’t we govern ourselves like the senior adults we were? How could we make assumptions about each other? People sat first come first serve. No one knew ahead of time that they might have been occupying a seat that others needed or deserved. No one intentionally slighted anyone else. It was not possible to look at an individual and determine whether they were 60 or 80, let alone how able-bodied someone who was sitting down could be. Waiting patiently and giving the planners an opportunity to handle the matter was not on the agenda. Common courtesy had no place in this gathering. Common courtesy had left the building.
I pondered that scene for several days. As many of you know I work with children and young adults as an educator. (Elementary grades and adult GED classes) The question I kept pondering was how can we expect polite behavior from the younger generation if we aren’t role models.? Should we expect better of them ourselves? I hear people complaining all the time about how rude young people are and how disrespectful they can be, but what about us? The old saying, “Do as I say, not as I do,” has never worked. Children will do as we do. Where do they learn to be inconsiderate, hostile, mean, self-centered and selfish? Are we going to blame everything on video games, TikTok, and peer pressure? Here’s another old saying, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
My grandmother used to say, “Common courtesy doesn’t cost you anything.” Simply words like please, thank you, you welcome, excuse me, may I help you, and I’m sorry can be given freely. Common courtesy can bridge the way to a cordial existence among a variety of individuals. Manners and words of kindness can set the tone for most any encounter. It only requires a little empathy and common courtesy, and we need these more than ever in our society.
Perhaps courtesy has left the building. I mean, I keep using the phrase “common courtesy,” but maybe courtesy isn’t common anymore. Perhaps the art of being neighborly and showing patience and compassion has been lost. Perhaps some people see courtesy as an antiquated word that needs to be removed from the dictionary. Or perhaps it has been replaced by a new word or been given a new meaning. Let’s bring old-fashioned common courtesy back. Let’s re-emphasize the simple definition we’ve always had: “showing politeness in one’s attitude and behavior toward others.” It would change our world in a good way.
Imagine how courtesy could deflate road rage or put a halt to rude gestures. Courtesy could change the trajectory of someone’s day from bad to good especially those who work with the general public. Understanding and compassion can build torn down relationships and bridge the so-called generation gap. A little gratitude and patience can change the words “Have a nice day” into a reality. If we bring courtesy and manners back into every building our environments will be far more peaceful. All we need is someone to set the example, be the role model, give what you want to receive. We can all show good manners and be better citizens by following the golden rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Let’s invite courtesy back into the building of our relationships, our business transactions, our conversation, and our communities.
Thank you for your time. Thank you for comments. Thank you for sharing my blog with others. Peace!
The Good Word 