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Rejuvenate Your Dreams
Tag: goals
Just One Thing
I read this article the other day that said everyone is better off to focus on just one thing. The idea was to figure out what your main thing is and to make it your highest priority. At first, I thought the article was pretty good and offered a good idea especially as a writer. I could put all my focus on writing and make writing my highest priority. As the kids would say, “Not!” As I wrote down some of my writing goals, I realized there was so much more on my life’s agenda than just one thing. I can’t even identify myself as just one thing. Sure, I’m a writer, but I’m also a wife, a mom, a friend, a teacher, a motivational speaker, a grandmother, an in-law, a believer, a daughter, a historian, a student, and a pitch hitter for a number of causes such as Alzheimer’s Disease and care providers. This list is not in the order of priority, but each one is a priority.
“Just One Thing.” I continued to think about this all week. How could anyone prioritize just one thing? What would happen to all the other things? Would this kind of myopic focus make you great at the one thing or cause the one thing to be more excellent than the other things? How would you choose when everything is an important thing? Is there anyone in the world who focuses on just one thing? I’m not sure if I’m just being too literal (or dense) in my thinking or if the author was oversimplifying his thesis. Perhaps an interview is in order.
PBS had a wonderful series on the life and achievements of Walt Disney and his brother, Roy O. Disney. (Truly,, worth seeing, check it out on YouTube) Needless to say, Walt Disney was some type of genius when it came to creativity and seeing his dreams come to fruition. He would never give up on an idea that made his craft better or more excellent regardless of cost or lack of support. Most often it seems others could not comprehend his ideas and inventions. Many thought he was a little crazy and declared Walt’s ideas would never see the light of day, but he stuck with it. As they say, the rest is history. So, was Walt Disney one of those people who prioritized and focused on just one thing or was it just one thing at a time? Afterall, Disney’s feature movies did not evolve into Disney World around the globe in just a few years. As I follow his life, each success led to a new evolution of ideas and inventions. His dreams grew with each accomplishment along with the many people it took to make it all happen.
Walt Disney’s life work seemed to be just one thing, but history would argue as to whether it was his only thing. From the information that is available to us Walt Disney was a devoted father to his daughters, Sharon and Diane. He took them to school and spent the weekends with them. He also allowed them to come to the studios. I bet they got the first of all the Disney toys. (Just a guess on my part.) He was married for forty years to the same wife, Lillian, unusal for Hollywood then and now. He and his brother, Roy, worked closely together and appeared to have a close-knit relationship. Some would say if Roy had not found the financial backing, Walt’s dream would have died as just a set of good ideas. Walt also appeared to have countless friends and relationships with people in the industry and among his employees. No doubt it was a hard balancing act, but somehow, he was able to manage his passion for the one thing with his love for many things.
I guess if I had to choose “just one thing.” I’d choose to be a good person. I don’t want my passions to outweigh my convictions that everyone deserves respect even if I disagree with them. I don’t want my skill sets to become such a matter of pride that I overlook those who are still learning. I don’t want my goals and dreams to so engulf me that I’m no longer available to the people I love and who love me. I don’t want my focus to have the kind of blinders that make me not see others and not be willing to lend a helping hand. I don’t want my priorities to be only about me because I can’t accomplish anything without the support of others. My “just one thing” is to be a good person who lives out her faith in every arena. In the end, I think I’ll accomplish more than “Just One Thing.”
“You can design and create and build the most wonderful place in the world. But it takes people to make the dreams a reality.” “A man should never neglect his family for business.” – Walt Disney
Peace with a broad focus on community,
Self-Improvement
Several days ago, I read an article about doing something to better yourself every day. I was intrigued and shared this with my family members. Everyone assented to the idea, but as of the writing of this blog no one has changed anything about their daily routine. (watching TV, eating out of boredom, and following social media posts). How do we get stuck in such ruts? We want to move forward in life, but we lack the will power or the motivation to get up and go for it. I want to do more to improve myself, how about you? What do you do to improve yourself? (Please share.)
When days go by, and I find I haven’t done any of the things I had planned or thought about doing, I get a little depressed. I become disappointed in myself and frustrated. I usually have no one else to blame but myself. I sit in my recliner watching reruns on TV or playing video games on my phone rather than doing something constructive. I have books to read. I have a blog to update. I have a book to finish. I have people I need to contact for lunch or brunch. I have volunteer work to do. Yet, there I sit vegetating. No creativity, no challenges, no interest, no fun. Why can’t I get moving? Why do I allow myself to fall into a rut of doing nothing? Could it be fear of failure? Could it be lack of motivation? Could it be a medical imbalance? Could it be tiredness from a lack of sleep and rest? Or is it depression manifesting itself again? Sometimes I think it’s all of the above.
My husband works on his art every day when he comes home from his eight-hour job. He says, “Don’t let me get close to my chair, because once that happens, I won’t get anything done.” His recliner is a place of comfort, but it’s also a place of procrastination and complacency. It’s easy to put things off for later. but he doesn’t let that chair conquer his desire to be productive. He can be proud and fulfilled through the process and progress of each finished piece. (www.donwilsonartist900.com) When he does take a break, it’s planned and a much needed.
I finally got out of my rut. I began working on my blog and planning for the completion of my book. I worked on class notes for my GED students and got out of the house to enjoy the spring flowers. I went to the salon and enjoyed a message and mani/pedicure. Doing something to better yourself is not always work, it’s the things that bring you joy, fulfillment, peace, and thoughtfulness (or maybe that’s mindfulness). It is also taking care of your health both physically and mentally. It’s being engaged with others and taking the time to live in the moment. It’s working toward your purpose and using your gifts and talents for the best outcome. It’s feeding your soul with spiritual nourishment.
Self-improvement can take many forms. It can start by freeing up time in your schedule or calendar. You may need to reinstate a reasonable bedtime so that your body gets restorative rest. You may need to change your routines as it relates to eating or device usage. You may need to add some self-care components to your schedule. Perhaps you need to listen to new podcasts or watch some documentaries. You may need to institute some healthy life-giving habits like meditation, exercise, or prayer. You may need to treat yourself to a vacation or a retreat. Perhaps you need to join a group of like-minded people who can communicate in the language of your skills and talents. Whatever you decide, you can always change it if it’s not working. And don’t forget to expect the unexpected. There will be interruptions and I can tell you firsthand they can derail your entire plan. So, don’t be afraid to pick up the pieces and start again.
Self-improvement should never really stop. We should do something to better ourselves every day. It doesn’t have to take hours; it could be the few minutes it takes to read an article. None of us are too young or too old to make changes. None of us are so mentally stagnant that we can’t create new goals personally and professionally. Whatever causes you to fall into a rut of inactivity can be changed by simply making up your mind to take the first small step. For some of us, it’s a daily fight.
New Beginnings
For teachers and students, the month of August (in Geogia) always marks the season of new beginnings: a new school year, a new grade level for some, and definitely new opportunities. New beginnings come in all types of ways, but we have to be open to receiving them. That means our attitude and our expectations have to line up with the new potentials and new possibilities. If we don’t expect anything new, we may miss out because our negative perspective blocked our view. That’s why it’s important to keep an open mind and a positive outlook.
At the school where I used to work, we had a motto that the students and staff recited every morning. The part I like the most is: “Today is a new day and a fresh start, I will strive for excellence. I will do my part.” Every day is a new beginning. We have the opportunity to do things differently than we did them before. Very rarely do things just happen, we have to put some effort in the outcome we want to have. A fresh start calls for fresh and renewed effort. There is a joy in knowing yesterday is over and done, but today is new – a day whose outcome is not predetermined. It’s a day of possibilities yet unrealized. I know that sounds like an over optimistic mantra, but it really is true if we allow ourselves the opportunity to act on it. Too much reflection over past failures can stop us dead in our tracks. At the same time too much fear and anxiety about the future can stifle our progress. Today is the day of recourse. Today is the day of fresh starts.
One of my former students was devastated when she failed the written portion of the driver’s license test. To her knowledge, she was the only one of her friends who failed. I also think her self-image had been damaged since she was a high achiever and honor student. I asked her what went wrong, but she didn’t have an answer. She just kept saying, “I failed.” Eventually I ascertained the problem. She had assumed much of the test was commonsense. She had pursued the driver’s manual but had not truly studied the material. Together we laid out a plan of study and a practice test. She was well prepared for the retest in my opinion; however, she was trapped in fear. She kept saying, “What if I fail again? I won’t be able to take the test again. This is my last chance.” She was projecting her past unto her future. She wasn’t defeated by her study habits or her ability to perform. She was defeated by her negative thought life. I call that “stinking thinking.”
Teachers spend a lot of time trying to convince students that they can accomplish their goals. It is part of our job to overcome their fears and inhibitions, especially since we are constantly introducing new concepts. This is particularly hard with adult students. (I teach Language Arts through Reasoning for GED students now.) Young children believe you when you tell them they can do it. Encouragement and praise will motivate them to try their best. Adults, on the other hand, rely far more on their past experiences than anything you say. Statements like, “I’ve never been good at math; I’m not a good writer or speller; reading is not my strong suit; I just don’t get it!” spew from their lips. Why don’t they say, “I’m going to get it this time, I’m not giving up, this is my time to finish strong”? It’s because they don’t see their effort as a new beginning, they see it as a continuation of old conditions.
Well, my student retook the written portion of the driver’s test, she passed with flying colors. She was more surprised than anyone else. She fully expected to fail even though she had dedicated real time to studying the manual. I hope she walked away with a life lesson which she can apply to the rest of her challenges, but I’m not sure she did. Yet, I will continue to encourage my students to embrace the motto: “Today is a new day and a fresh start. I will strive for excellence; I will do my part.”
How about you? Do you still have a dream or goal that you haven’t seen come to fruition? Is it because of “stinking thinking?” Is it because you are stuck on the conditions of the past? Have you become fearful of failure, worrying about things that have yet to happen? Are the words of a negative cheerleader, a naysayer, ringing in your ear? Guess what? This is a new opportunity for you to try again. It’s time for a new beginning from a new you. You are not the same person you were years ago. (I don’t think any of us are the same since the Pandemic.) You bring more experiences and knowledge to the table. You have more connections and networks to glean from and receive help. Ignite the fire in your heart. Tell yourself “I can do this! This is a new day! I can make a fresh start.”
One of my mentors in the faith always used the motto below. I hope you will try it out along with the school motto above. “Today is the first day of the rest of your life, give it your best shot!” (In loving memory of D. A. Anderson) Take it from someone who has to overcome internal obstacles and external time constraints to achieve my goals as a writer, a teacher, a wife, a daughter, and a friend, new beginnings are a blessing every single day, and right now I’m giving it my best shot. (Even in this run-on sentence.) Peace.
A Dream Deferred
I am certainly no Langston Hughes, nor do I presume to offer commentary on his great work. Yet, the title, A Dream Deferred, seemed to fit my thought process for this post. (ref. Langston Hughes “Harlem” 1951) After several conversations with my peers and young people around me, it would appear that the events of our society has put many dreams on hold. People are waiting for the Pandemic to end, for things to get back to normal, for bipartisan politics to take place, for their finances to improve, for a conducive opportunity, and a number of other things. Thus, the dreams are deferred, (postponed, put off for a later time) but for how long?
Can we really afford to put off our hopes and dreams and wait for a better time or season? If COVID 19 has taught me anything, it is not to count the days too far in advance. January 2020 was the beginning of a new year with promises to be better than the year before. We all were marching through the days taking so much for granted, and then March changed everything. No longer could we take our elderly family members for granted, not longer could we take our jobs and income for granted, no longer could we take our health or our friends for granted. Nothing was concrete, everything was elusive. The things we put off until spring, or until a more perfect opportune time never happened, mostly because we were in a “wait and see mode.” Here we are, more than a year later still waiting to see what’s going to happen next.
Don’t get me wrong, I too have some deferred dreams. The books I had hoped would be ready for publication are still on the shelf of my soul. It has not been easy to continue writing under the haze of grief and despair. Even blogging has been a challenge. Yet, those of us who could muster up the courage continued to press on. I am amazed at how many new businesses were launch during this time. I’m in awe of the people who decided that this was the time to achieve their goals in art, music, or literature. These people found hope in the midst of peculiar circumstances. They didn’t give up. They didn’t postpone. They met the challenge head on. They decided that now was as good of a time as any. One person declared, “If COVID takes me out, at least I will have given it my best shot!”
There’s a scripture that says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” (Proverbs 13:12 ESV; some people believe this was Langston Hughes muse) Without a dream or hope, we can become depressed and sick in heart and mind. Mental health disorders have been unmasked during this time of social distancing and sheltering-in. The news stories about new strains of the virus scare us. No one wants to return to wearing masks and distancing ourselves from love ones, but we have a say in how we will respond to the various messages of the airways. We can decide to seek out relationships, to achieve our goals, to be proactive in mental and emotional healing, and to work toward achieving our occupational and or vocational desires. We can be like those entrepreneurs who launched their dreams into reality and experienced life at a new level. We have the ability to change our immediate circumstances by allowing hope to come to the surface of our thoughts and acting on it.
In the last two months, I have been writing more. To my surprise, the more I write, the more I want to write. I started dreaming poems and stories again. I hope to bring two new works to publication this summer. Will I? I don’t know, but I do know I will be giving it everything I’ve got. Writing is a part of who I am. When I defer writing, I am putting my entire being on hold. That is not mentally or emotionally healthy for me. Are you postponing living? Are you putting off being your true authentic self? Have you put yourself (your hopes, goals and dreams) on hold?
For years I have been trying to get my mom to go to the salon with me for a pedicure, manicure, and a facial. For years I have heard her say she wished to have a professional arch her eyebrows and shape her nails, but she would never go. I finally got her to go to the salon on my birthday. She reluctantly got a pedicure with reflexology. Afterwards, she was so elated. She described her experience to me with a big smile on her face. She regretted not doing it before and pledged to go again and get the works. My mom is 89 years old and this was her very first trip to the salon. I tell you this story because your dream deferred doesn’t have to be a big thing. It can be a small thing, a typical thing, a thing that seems ordinary to others, but for you it is a desire that needs to be fulfilled. It can be the thing that makes your “tree of life” grow. It can be the thing that brings you satisfaction and perhaps joy as well.
Are your dreams deferred? Why? Do you have the ability within you or your scope of influence to change it? Is there someone in your life who can help you do whatever needs to be done to get there? I encourage you not to put off for a day which you have yet to see the things you can do today. That’s like trying to spend money you do not have. Cease the day!
I wish you health, wholeness, and joy as you strive to achieve your dreams.
Delayed Gratification Has its Advantages
We have come to expect so many things to come quickly, almost instantly, so delayed gratification doesn’t sound very appealing. Yet, some things are worth waiting for. Like when my mom makes a crushed pineapple bread pudding, it’s worth the wait. Sure I could go to the local grocery store and purchase something engrossed in plastic and start eating it as soon as I get in the house, but it couldn’t hold a candle to my mother’s homemade dessert.
There’s something to be said for those things that take time to earn, to win, to create, or experience – things like earning a college degree, planning your wedding, earning the respect of your colleagues for your accomplishments, completing your first novel, having a baby, buying your first house or renting your first apartment. There are so many more things in life that require time to accomplish and appreciate. Not to mention becoming the best you, you can be. It takes time to discover who you want to be.
The reasons for delayed gratification vary, but they become important milestones – milestones that define the seasons of our lives. Whether we want to admit it or not, there are some things we just wouldn’t be able to handle if they arrived instantly. If we are in our season of immaturity, we may not be able to sustain or maintain the goal, accomplishment, or achievement intellectually or financially. If things come too quickly or without any effort, we may not be in a season to appreciate its value. After all, if it’s really worth a lot, why did it come so easily we may think, and of course the answer to that question comes after we loose it.
Those of us who have reached a certain level of maturity need to explain to the younger crowd the advantages of delayed gratification. Some of them are under great stress because they are trying to accomplish in a year or two what took their parents 10, 15, 20 years to accomplish. In this age of technology it may not take that long, but milestones still take time. Stability takes time. Quality takes time. Longevity takes time. These are the advantages of delayed gratification. My grandmother used to say, “Anything worth having should be worth keeping!” That takes us right back to maintaining and sustaining, and don’t we want to maintain good relationships, great occupations, excellent reputations, lasting legacies. I certainly do!
Delayed gratification gives me something to look forward such as: date night, my next book, fellowship with friends and family. It gives me purpose, the drive to go for the goal. It’s how I set my priorities for my work schedule, my personal investments, and bucket filling (refer to previous blogs). It’s how I plan for both short term and long term goals like writing, traveling, and self-care. It’s an accepted way of life, because even those things that seem instant really aren’t. (Just asked all those designers who make Google work for us!)
Well, I have to leave this thought with you because I’m about to leave for a date that I’ve been waiting for all week. The delay for that is over! What’s on your delayed gratification list? What was or is the advantage of waiting? Come share, we’re waiting!
![Achieve Breakthrough Using Delayed Gratification by [Master Resale Rights]](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41gT%2BH9mWaL.jpg)
In order to receive the most possible gratification from something we must first learn to hold off on instant rewards. This may seem like a hard task to accomplish for many people. With a little practice and the use of these helpful steps, waiting for the big prize will become a walk in the park.
The Good Word 
