Tag: vision

What Do You See?

~ boydwilsonpat ~ Leave a comment

It’s weird to me that you don’t realize how much your vision has changed until you get a new pair of glasses. It’s like the room lights up or gets brighter with your new lens. It’s really amazing the difference it can make. Yet, we may put off getting an eye exam until we have to admit we aren’t seeing things as clearly as we should. That was me; I put off eye surgery until it was evident that I couldn’t see clearly enough to drive or read among other things. I had no choice I had to do something about my vision.

Have you ever asked yourself, what am I not seeing? Even when we have 20/20 vision, we may not be seeing things as clearly as we should or understand what we do see. In the early years of my marriage, I remember my husband, who is a fine artist, trying to get me to see the many colors of green in nature. At first, I couldn’t see it. Green was green, but finally I began to notice the distinctions between dark green, light green, yellow green, and so forth. For the first time all the colors in a box of crayons made sense to me. I’m serious, I always asked myself why anyone needed more than eight crayons; a box of twenty-four or more was crazy to me. There were all these varied colors around me, but I was not seeing them. Whenever someone would point out something that I hadn’t seen or noticed I would simply say, “I’m not a visual person, I’m more of an auditory person.” The truth was probably I didn’t want to see it or didn’t care enough to look.

I wonder how many other people are like that. They either don’t see or can’t see the world around them. Perhaps they have never been challenged to really look for the subtle nuisances like my husband challenged me to see the color green. Perhaps they need a corrective lens to truly see the things around them. Or maybe they believe it is crazy to care about such things – that involvement and participation is like a box of sixty-four crayons, too excessive. However, if a positive difference is going to be made in our Beloved Community we must refocus our eyes and understand what’s really happening around us, around our children, and around our world not just globally but communally.

Certain life events have a way of opening our eyes. The Pandemic was one of those events. It not only helped us to see how quickly disease could spread, but it also helped us to see the education of our children in a different light. It showed us the vulnerability of the senior citizens in our community, and it exposed the necessity and sacrifice of what we now call “first responders” and “critical workers.” It also showed us how rural areas were cut off from necessary resources including technology. Our eyes were opened to mental health issues in every age group as well. For sure, the Pandemic made us see some things for the first time. However, many of those things were right before our eyes before the Pandemic and are still quite visible after the Pandemic so we have to ask ourselves “What am I not seeing and why am I not seeing it?”

Grief is raging in the lives of families who have suffered lost whether by natural disasters, accidents, or unexpected violence. Fear has a grip on our children and our senior adults because the definition of safety is ever changing. Scarcity is challenging the security of families whose jobs no longer offer longevity or elevation in pay or position. Every community is experiencing a shortage of peace offices, firefighters, nurses, and teachers. Politics on all sides has become a competition of rhetoric and citizens are becoming disillusioned with the whole process. So, what are we looking at and what will it take for us to see what is really going on? More importantly, how are we going to respond to what we see? And if you are an auditory person like me, how will we respond to what we hear?

I’ve learned from my husband and my art instructor that lighting makes a big difference in how a work is perceived. When the light is right it can highlight the details, but when it’s not right it can cause the observer to miss the details and other components of the art. Perhaps we are waiting for others to shine the light on the needs of our community but waiting has a price that we cannot afford. If we treasure our families and our communities, we must be willing to take a good look around us and activate our citizenry through volunteerism, through civic involvement, through educating others, and through challenging everyone in our sphere of influence to do the same.

What do I see? I see opportunities to do better. I see legacy in our elders. I see possibilities in posterity. I see work for my hands to do. What about you? What do you see? I would love to hear from you.

The color green is associate with nature, growth, and vitality. Figuratively, I hope we will all see more of the color green in our world. Peace and Restoration.

Beware of Labels

~ boydwilsonpat ~ 1 Comment

Most of you know I don’t like the identity labels used to determine what generation someone belongs to i.e., GenX, Millennials, Gen Z, Silent Generation, etc. However, this post is not about those labels. This post is about a different kind of label. I think I’ll call these “pigeon-hole labels.” Here’s a definition I got from the internet for pigeon-hole: “disapproving – used to say someone or something is unfairly thought of or described as belonging to a particular group, having only particular skills, etc.” (www.britannica.com) One example of this is to say, “Everyone who is homeless has a mental illness.” This is unfair and an untrue descriptive statement. Mental illness becomes a pigeon-hole label for the homeless people. It becomes a way to disapprove of two separate groups by pairing them together,

Working in the school system for many years I readily admit I have heard, accepted, and used labels indiscriminately. Yet, I am most bothered by students using negative labels about themselves or other students. They call themselves dumb, clumsy, and ugly. I’ve also heard students call other students crazy, stupid, and trolls. There was one student in my class that the other students called The Thing (ref. The Fantastic Four). It was not a term of endearment. He was taller than all the other children, overweight, and academically behind. One day when we were outside, I asked him why he wasn’t playing with the other kids. He said he was tired of chasing them around. I said then play something different. He said I can’t they only let me be the monster. He spent the rest of recess sitting on the sidewalk watching the other kids play. It was sad that the other kids called him a monster, but it was sadder still that he accepted this label.

As adults we must become more aware of how we use labels. People have so many attributes. No one label is ever enough to describe someone. While a family may be poor, they may also be resilient. A person with a learning disability may also be the most caring and giving individual in the room. A person who enjoys physical activities may not have any desire to be an athlete, they may choose to be a math whiz instead. We must be careful not to make one label so big that a person cannot see themselves in a different light.

There is a music video I love, it shows children and young adults holding signs with descriptive negative labels such as “Lost, Rebellious. Worthless” in front of their sad faces. At the end of video, as the song progresses, those labels are changed to more positive descriptions such as “Triumphant, Forgiven, Victorius.” These positive labels are held under smiling faces. (https://youtu.be/xctUxzZhNRs). Last week I shared this video with a friend and colleague. In turn she shared a story with me. It was about a boy who used to attend the afterschool program at the Boys and Girls Club. One day he saw a sign that said they served “disadvantaged youth.” He said that was when he discovered he was “disadvantaged.” Although he laughed when he said it, it was obviously painful to him. My friend said she felt an immediate conviction. I replied, “Labels are hard to outlive and stick until corrected by someone in authority.” I shared my friend’s conviction.

No one wants to be pigeon-holed, but too many people are, especially youth and young adults. They are not all hoodlums, gangsters, lazy, entitled, selfish, losers. When we as adults affirm negative labels, we are guilty of destroying hope and vision. We are guilty of damaging the self-worth of another individual regardless of age. This is not the way of our ancestors. This is not the way to build community.

The so-called Silent Generation (my mom’s generation) spoke success over their children, the Baby Boomers (my generation), and the Baby Boomers promoted adventure and prosperity in the lives of the Gen-Xers (my sons’ generation). What is being spoken over the next generations? Is it hopeful, redeeming, transforming, or visionary? Does it build up self-worth and security in one’s identity? Or does it bring shame, insecurity, and rejection? Beware of labels; they have the power to build up or tear down.

It would be interesting to see what labels we carry around about ourselves. As you ponder your labels, imagine what labels your children and grandchildren carry with them every day. It may give you a chance to change their perspective by giving them some new positive and true labels. You have the power to influence character.

Be caring. Be wise. Be selfless. Be the best you can be.